Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My Support System

Oh my crazy week. I'm doing such a good job about staying on schedule. The only problem with that is I failed to schedule down time. I should have thought this out a little bit more but oh well. I guess I will have plenty of down time in very near future. And by very near I mean 4 days. Yes that is right my friends we have an official countdown. 4 days....
I have learned a few things these past few weeks. The most important thing I have learned is about my support system. I would never expect anything from anybody but oh my goodness the love people share for me is amazing. Everyday I am touched by something someone said, did, sent me or just there overall happiness to be around me. My family, friends, and work family surprise me everyday. EVERYDAY! They are all so great to me. How did I get so lucky. I know my situation can be a little much to handle but everyone has been so great to me every step of the way. It hasn't been easy and I know that but even when I'm having a moment and I deserve a slap in the face I get back support. It's nice to have that. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have that. My support system is the reason I don't cry everyday. Don't get me wrong I have those moments and people see them and hear them but there could be a lot more and there's not. That's not me that my group keeping me strong. They are the reason I know things will be ok. They have faith in me and who I am. Even when I question if I'm ever going to be the same they remind me of who I am at the core and that will never change. Hearing that makes me feel wonderful. Because that is something I worry about. Change. I mean who really likes change. So one of my biggest fears is that my surgery is going to change who I am. But I'm lucky enough to have my group tell me that it won't. I believe them. I have faith that they are telling me the truth and they wouldn't steer me in the wrong direction. I am truly the luckiest girl alive right now. I the best group of people surrounding me right. I could go on forever about how grateful I am to have all these wonderful people in my life. Like I said before I surprised everyday by someones kind words or their actions. It has tough me to faith in people again. I lost that a little bit where I wasn't sure if others even cared about anyone else but themselves. I was wrong on that. People do care and there is good out in this world. You just have to surround yourself with people like that and I have.
Tomorrow is a big day for me. I know I've got the love to get through but I hope that I don't lose my temper with my day. I hope I don't have an anxiety attack and I hope that I can remember to stay level headed all day. Tomorrow is the pre-op day. Lots of poking, testing, staying still and question answering to multiple doctors. Not easy for me. But they are there to help and make sure that my surgery is successful. So I will be nice and drugged .

4 Days.......

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